Monday, November 24, 2008

Goodbye Son - Time to Get Back Into Life's Joys


To say goodbye to your only son is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in this life! It's been just four months since my son Steven died suddenly. There was no warning that he may have been ill; he just fell to his knees and fell backwards on the floor while eating a sandwich - he died instantly. I guess there is some comfort in knowing that he was safe and happy when he left us, and that he died in his own home.
This snapshot of him laughing on his last birthday in February shows the man that was my son. We are still shocked and miss him very much but life must go on.
About a week after he died he visited me in a dream. I could hear his voice as if he was standing next to me in the room. He said to me, "Mama-kins, why are you so sad?" I looked up at him and replied that I was so sad because I missed him so much. He then said, "Please stop crying, I'm just fine." He was smiling and looked wonderful, as if he had lost 20 years; his face was without lines, his teeth were quite white, his eyes were clear and deeply green. He was framed by a golden light at the back of his head which seemed to make his brown hair glow; he was a handsome man before he died but what I saw was a re-born, handsome young man, in good health, who was extremely happy.
I am thankful that I could see him as he is now and am deeply thankful that Steve accepted Jesus Christ as his savior before he died. I know that he is in His care. What a wonderful promise from Him we all have, to meet each other again some day soon. Now I can say "Goodbye" to Steven with a little less sadness.